I neglect my readers. A lot.
I don’t want to sell people things.
I find it unethical to talk about my personal relationships in a public forum.
I’m uncomfortable posting lots of photos of my children on my blog and other social media.
I don’t really want to post photos of my body online.
I suck at remembering to take photos, let alone make them beautiful.
I think I’m articulate enough to not need to swear constantly throughout my work.
I’m a disorganised hot mess.
I just want to write, damn it.
My pretties. My darlings.
I’m getting a little tired of this merry-go-round of a writing funk I’m in. I promise a post (every Friday, in fact!) and then I fail to deliver. I’ll have an awesome week of sprinkling posts like I’m making fairy bread here, then I’ll disappear for weeks on end.
The truth is, as I’ve said before: my life is hectic. Not in a big way, not in an especially meaningful way. But in the everyday, down in the trenches kind of way.
This year has been sobering. It’s been a year of life and death and change. I’m facing emotions I’ve never truly felt; I’m recognising and facing fears that never fully left me.
I’m looking down a road I never knew existed when this year began.
I hope to share all this with you soon. I spend a lot of my time debating whether this is the right place for these posts; whether Being Wifekins has the depth for these topics. I think it could do, with some work. But it’s kind of crunch time here; either I throw myself into writing for Being Wifekins, or I let her go. It’s a tough call, and I’m not sold either way. So for now I’ll keep writing here, being a bad mum blogger, and see what this place turns into.
Here’s where I’m at right now:
- I have an extra six months on my course to complete it. Babies take up aaaaaaall of your time, who knew?!
- We’re dealing with a lot in our personal lives. Most of which I can’t talk about publicly yet.
- I’m getting some help for my mental health. It’s not PND. It’s not even depression. I’m booked in to see a psychologist though, and I’m hoping this will take us down a path to have a look at the big picture of what’s been going on with my brain in the past ten years.
- Parenting four kids has been tough. Parenting ADHD and ODD can go in the bin.
- Next year is going to be a big one, there’s a lot of change on the way.
I have a lot of things I want to write; I draft a new post in my head every day.
I just need some patience – and time – and to just let it happen.
In the meantime, how are you? I miss you. Share with me.