Motherhood

Today’s Cancelled.

I’m not going to lie, I am seriously struggling today  for awhile now. It’s hot here in the north-east and this house has no cooling, so we’ve been opting to head out in the evenings, making for some late nights. Everyone is tired and cranky. The house is so messy it’s close to uninhabitable because I just can’t catch a break and get on top of it. Smasher has transitioned into The Hulk, making the mere thought of leaving the house horrifying. And our marriage is wrestling with stress and the vibe that we’re supposed to be doing something else (but we have no idea what that is).

Last night I went to yoga, and left exhausted, headachey and shakey. I didn’t sleep much last night and this morning could have been handled much better by a turtle than I. I was supposed to go to bible study with some lovely mums from church. I had told my grandparents I’d bring the kids over to visit today. I struggled with the thought of getting out of bed, let alone making it out of the house today.

So I cancelled.
And I felt much better.

Not physically, oh no, I still feel a sloth that has been slowly reversed over by a rubbish truck. But mentally, so much better. All that pressure of facing people has vanished, and I came to the realisation that all I have to do today is keep the children fed, safe and clean. Which opened up my whole day. I’ve done some laundry, made dinner, baked cookies and put the baby down for a nap. Instead of coming home ruined after an exhausting day out, I’ll be of some use to the family this evening, and perhaps even thrive at this parenting gig tomorrow.

Usually I hate cancelling on people. I believe in honouring commitments and dislike wasting peoples time. However, at the same time I strongly believe in the need for a mama to take care of herself. Mental health is something that can’t be ignored. If you need a break from the world – or even the kids – then you make sure that happens. Everyone needs time to themselves now and then, and that’s okay. If you’re burnt out, you’re no help to your family so you may as well take a little time for yourself.

Also, there’s nothing wrong with saying no to people every now and then, and if people make you feel bad for that, you should question why.

So I’m going to spend the rest of my day pottering around tidying up because that’s what I want to do. Honestly, I’m typing on a keyboard with a spring onion draped across it, a little tidy couldn’t hurt. Then I might crochet, or cuddle up on the couch with the monsters to watch a little ABC Kids.

Whatever today brings, it will not involve pants.

 

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